I used to write – a lot.
I would blog – frequently – too. Then I hit my final couple of years of seminary and was writing 20 page papers on a routine basis, not to mention all the other writing… What used to be fun and refreshing turned into a job. I lost my passion for writing, processing, and honing my voice over the written word.
Life was busy and there are a lot of excuse. I made excuses deciding to not pursue this specific medium of one of my few creative parts of my soul – maybe the only creative part of my soul.
I can’t draw, dance, paint, take photos, scrapbook, or any other artsy thing. I am color blind after all, but even if I wasn’t, I doubt I would be able to do those things. But, the one thing I have always been able to do as a creative – is write. I knew deep down writing research papers was different then writing to express my soul, but I took an unintentional writing sabbatical.
What do I choose to do; what do I choose not to do?
These are the questions I have been wrestling with recently.
Being bi-vocational means learning to truly filter, analyze, and latch on to not what is good, not what is better, but what is best. Every day of the week I have to make choices based on the limited amount of hours in the day and the multiple hats I am blessed to wear. Certain things are good, but in the end they are not the best.
I desire to blog. However, there are other things competing for my time, energy, and attention. When you only get a limited amount of time in a day – what do you choose to do? What do you want to do? How do I explore ideas, care for myself, and be intentional in growth? Even with a limited amount of unscheduled time every day – these are things I must be intentional in practicing.
I know as a verbal processor, with a unique voice, I need to write things out in order to help figure things out. Sometimes it really stinks being a verbal processor because you can run your close friends – especially significant other – through a long, winding, confusing, emotional whirlwind that only makes sense to you, after you’ve said 10,000 words and contradicted yourself one hundred times. Combine extrovertedness and verbal process with someone who regularly interacts with introverts and I’m sure I do not do them any favors.
More importantly, I love to write and I miss it. Since I’ve started my first full year without seminary, I haven’t been forced to write any more. It is a muscle I have not been stretching in the ways I used to. Writing is a gift I enjoy and while academic writing was not always fulfilling, it helped my creative juices get flowing and let me process the things God is up to in a completely different way.
It’s time to start blogging again.