Uncomfortable Anticipation

It’s been a while since I have stared at a blinking black cursor on a bright, white screen that does not involve typing a research paper. Like, a long while.

Thankfully, my fingers still remember the movements across this digital, online notebook.

Sometimes there are nights where there isn’t a whole lot on your mind, yet everything is on your mind. You simply are up late, listening to your online lectures on globalization, doing your laundry, and dreaming about what God is up to in your heart, soul, mind, and life – while praying about your future; while also seeing what is going on in the world in places like Ferguson, or even in your own friends lives (thanks social media).

Calling it restless doesn’t feel right.

It’s more of an uncomfortable anticipation.



Last night, I was texting a mentor of mine when he dropped this brilliant, one sentence, text on me, “Nothing prepares you more than suffering and patience.” Suffering and patience.

If you could drop a mic and walk off stage with a text message, he did it.

Those two words are the exact opposite of what the culture a twentysomething inhabits wants to hear. We may be okay with preparation, but not through those means. We want preparation to come to us in the form of spa days, massages, rounds of golf at a beautiful country club, and sipping cocktails and eating delicious finger food at black tie, five star parties overlooking the city or ocean. We don’t want suffering and patience.

Yet, tonight, as I look at the world – I see preparation happening through suffering and patience. Maybe it is the events of Ferguson. Maybe it is ALS. Maybe it is ISIS and the persecuted Christians over in Iraq. Maybe it is something smaller than that, but more personal to you. Either way, I see a lot happening in the world tonight through suffering and patience.

I sit in this place with uncomfortable anticipation. None of these events make me comfortable, but there is anticipation something better is on the horizon. I just don’t know what it is, but I will anticipate as I stare off into the horizon, waiting for what comes next.


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