“Good, better or best – don’t settle for the crumbs.”
Nine words. One sentence. This was the mantra which defined seminary year two. Wherever I go, whatever I do, whenever it is – never, ever take the easy road. Never settle for good enough. Do not take better. Always, and I mean always, seek for the best. Don’t just settle for the crumbs from the table.
This is why I went to school full-time at Talbot last spring. This is why I turned down CRU last winter. I did not just want a good option or a better option, instead I wanted the best and I knew the best would come because God wanted the best.
Now, it’s funny because almost a year later I find myself in a very similar life stage as I did a year ago. Today, I find this phrase still resonating with my head, heart and soul begging me to analyze my life, hold it loosely and see what the next, best, right step is. This last winter I knew exactly what the right decision to make was. I knew what the best was. I knew what would have been crumbs and what was really fresh baked, homemade bread. It was clear – so clear I could taste it without even eating it. It smelled so good I never needed to even let it touch my tongue.
However, today, the dough yeast is new kind of yeast. There is now a hint of something unforeseen. It’s not bad, it’s just different leaving me to question and wonder, what is the next, best, right step? What truly is good, better or best? Where are the crumbs and are those what I’m positioning myself for?
I had no idea God would have me wrestle with these questions again so soon, within the same life questions of last year. It’s almost as if God has wiped the slate clean, called a mulligan and is letting me have a do over. Right now, I’m buried in crumbs. I’m not in a bad place, but I’m left in a place where I need to push aside the crumbs and see what has actually been served at the dinner table in front of me so I can discern what is good, better or best.
Last year I successfully did this once. he told me I wouldn’t have an answer til I had completely finished the process and I went through the process and I didn’t hear a yay or nay. I went with my soul, my wiring and my gut. No one told me a no. No one also told me an overwhelming yes. It lead me to believe I had finished the process. Today, I am beginning to wonder if this was actually part of the process? Maybe my decision wasn’t a final decision? Maybe the journey isn’t over yet? Maybe this lesson from seminary year two hasn’t fully revealed itself yet? Maybe there are more questions to ask?
What is good, better or best? Where’s the jar of cookie dough – I refuse to settle for good. I long for the best.