“I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless…” Psalm 101:3
My life, my time, my passion, my calling is valuable. The days are precious. I need to guard it. It must be protected. I cannot stand by idly letting it be corrupted or tainted by things which are not worthy of my energy. I must keep my eyes on the prize and strive to follow Jesus as hard, fast and confidently as I am equipped to do so.
The days are precious; I must understand their value.
Last summer this verse was one which quickly became a verse I added to my quiver when I have to process big life decions, when I have to see how God is moving and He asks me to lay out the fleece or when life gets hard and I need to remember why it is I am going towards what I am striving for because it is not worthless – there is a point. It allows me to refocus my attention, align my soul and keep my eyes pushing after the calling God has placed before me.
God took me to this verse last summer when I devoted my time to pouring over the Psalms, allowing me to grieve and celebrate how God moved in my life. These verses allowed me the grace and ability to analyze my soul, checking out the wiring of my circuitry. They allowed me to pry apart the electrical box and see what wires needed to be cut, soldered back together and which were extraneous having no purpose. The season was a time for me to do some soul renovation and restoration.
Seminary year two was powerful as I used the fall semester to let God piece me back together.
I didn’t run from it. I also didn’t try to accelerate God’s handiwork. I trusted his time and touch. I let him deconstruct me so I could see my wiring. I sat in my classes with a posture of learning, seeking to not just learn content but learn my soul. I felt I knew what God was calling me to and how the Holy Spirit had equipped me to accomplish it, but I had been devastated and broken.
Jonathon Welch needed to be rebuilt.
Honestly, looking in hindsight, I’m so grateful I was forced to reconstruct myself.
I saw God take away what was unnecessary and give me new wires, things my circuitry was lacking. He fixed me before my fuses blew and before a bad wire burned down the whole setup.
Seminary year two was painfully profound.
However I now know that not only was I sure in my wiring, how God’s equipped me and who He’s calling me to be – but I know I now have protection around these wires. See, for years I was walking around with wires of my soul exposed. I was complete. I was full, but there was something off.
I was at risk to shorting out or electrocution because the very foundation of those wires were rusted out. I didn’t know this was the case – how could I? If I ever would have know that, I would have replaced it then and there.
When I realized the damage which was there, it allowed me to lay all my wires onto the table and see just how these were supposed to be hooked together. I found things Macgyvered into place to keep me propelling forward, keeping my electricity from surging, yet did nothing but put a really sloppy bandaid and paperclip over it.
It did the job, but it wasn’t going to last.
Eventually the elevator was going to stop going up.
My wiring was upgraded, protected and affirmed. I am a beloved child of the Father, a prince of the King, a leader with a heart for His people and Church, teamed with a desire to see people encounter Jesus – being prompted with a divine longing to pursue these core wirings til every door in front of shuts or the path leads to a different road. This si true of me no matter what vocation or job I happen to find myself in – even unemployment.
Year two humbled me. Year two stretched me. Year two reminded me of what God was up to and taught me who I was.
I didn’t learn this in a classroom, but a classroom was a part of the process. God engaged me on every facet: intellect, heart, soul and emotions. It was a powerful year.
I’m a new man because of seminary year two. I’m a man who knows my true wiring and nothing else defines me; I no longer believe the lies of the enemy. My soul is grateful for this.
I’m excited to see what seminary year three brings as I get to live out my wiring to the max, inside an academic setting, by starting Fuller Theological Seminary and studying theology and intercultural studies.
Father, I’m ready for the next, best, right step. Do not let me set before my path and let my eyes see anything with no value – let me see worth and strive after it.